Apparently I’m a wimp cuz I needed my own IV bolus today I felt so wiped out and awful. Made me feel better to know the other people who gave blood also felt like crap.
Hours later here I am again, so tired I don’t even think I know how exhausted I really am – must be more of a wimp than I thought:)
So much for writing the last couple days…between exhaustion, work, last visits and saying good-by’s, packing up, and just plain processing everything, its been one of the first things to fall off the list…Sometimes I have so much churning inside of me I feel paralyzed and don’t even know where to start to try to express it.
I’m sitting in the Miami airport ready to head home, which feels both good and overwhelming at the same time. What’s it going to be like to go back to work? to life as “normal?” The tears are starting to fall again as I write – just wept on the plane back from Haiti: The sense of community and love and belonging that I/we experienced; the re-awakened hunger to live something more than an independent, “normal” life; the love of a child; the joy and faith of people who have lost almost everything; saying good-by to people who now feel like family…
I think probably one of the most profound things I’ve heard this week was from my friend Kat, when we were talking about all this: One can choose to live for oneself but you lose a part of your humanity in the process. It is this that I don’t want to lose. To be fully alive – giving and receiving life, love, grace – this is where it’s at. How and where and when is different for every person. I just hope everyone discovers what it is that makes them come fully alive. I read a quote a long time ago from Buechner that says, “Vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need.” Profoundly simple. For me, I have the joy of knowing that nursing is that passion and finding that avenue for expressing it, is my journey. I love that that passion God places in people can be music or art, or science, or construction – whatever it is, I believe that we have that gift for a reason and it is in using that gift WELL and blessing others, we find fulfillment.
Anyway, there’s just tons of other super interesting randomness to journal about – ER cases and other happenings but will have to later. Have an amazing week everyone and Happy Sunday!!