Category Archives: Life

Tordstock 200 År

Tordstock 200….

Words to describe this experience…hmmm. It’s tough. A music festival? A camping adventure? A birthday party for 5 Swedish guys all turning 40 (hence the “200” in the festival name)? All of that, yes, but most importantly to me, it was an almost indescribable weekend of witnessing and participating in the beauty of relationships – a celebration held and attended by a community of friends that rivaled, if not exceeded, anything I’ve ever experienced in my life before.


A little background: My San Diego/Swedish friend Karin has a whole group of close friends back in Sweden, of course, and on the agenda for our trip was this huge birthday weekend for 5 of her good friends who were all turning 40 this year. They had been preparing this event for months and it involved music, stages, grills, hot tubs, campfires, beer, tents, and people – lots of people.

One of the birthday guys has a lovely, rather rural piece of property and had cleared out a gorgeous little plot in the middle of the woods. By the time we Americans showed up (a day early to hang out and help with the last minute prep), there were already multiple booths, stages, grills, hottubs, etc set up. I was extremely impressed! We jumped right in with helping set up tents, make food, test out the beer selection and pretty much laugh our guts out in between the welcoming hugs and extensions of love and friendship.





The first night  we spent at Karin’s best friend’s home with his lovely family. Omg. The sweetest little family in the world. The next day was unofficially a bit of a more intimate gathering I suppose – which was great for us newbies because we got to meet and get to know some people before the huge Saturday crowd showed up. I think we Americans established ourselves as the master grillers – We really had a blast helping out with everything. It took me right back to the good ol days of my past manning the grill for 1-200 people. Pounds and pounds of Bacon, eggs, hotdogs, hamburgers. Even the Freddie Special (don’t ask…;)




Ryan manned the woodfired hot tubs! So fun! I guess this is a sorta popular/common thing in Sweden to rent these portable hot tubs. Im so impressed by the lovely portable items you can bring to these festivals – even the mobile port-a-potties were heated and lit. I almost camped out in one it got so cold the first night! J Probably the most impressive piece of equipment was the grill. Johan – who is a genius with his hands – designed and built the one we used. I want one.




We stayed up till the wee hours of the morning singing and talking around the campfire, hollering out both Swedish and English tunes even if we could only join in in the “lah lah lah’s” of the chorus… Those who know me know that I am quite obsessed with campfires – some of my favorite memories involve friends and campfires and nights under the stars… I was pretty much in Heaven soaking it all in and enjoying the music and keeping the fire stoked. 🙂 We Even busted out another batch of grilled hotdogs at 2AM for those who had worked up an appetite (again)!




Karin is friends with a rather well-know European musician named “Yellow Mike” and she had secretly arranged with him to stop over on his way up to Oslo for a surprise concert – it was completely amazing. We loved it – his stage presence and music were stellar and it was so kind of him to swing by for a couple hours and honor us with his time and music.


One of the birthday guys’ brothers has been in a band since 1978. They were the main presenters of the weekend and, gosh, do these guys rock. They sound SO great and filled the woods with such an epic mix of popular songs – both Swedish and English. We stayed up through most of the nights too, just singing around the campfire and enjoying these perfect moments in time.


So, this is really just barely scratching the surface of an outstanding weekend, but hopefully the pictures will help bring it all together. I know I made some epic memories – the love and laughter, the fun and music, the bonding. I was so touched by the palpable love most of all. There was no holding back on hugs and kisses. You could see, touch, feel and were basically immersed in a mileau of deep comraderie and could clearly see the affection that these special group of friends shared. I feel deeply honored to have been not only invited to share in the activies but to be welcomed warmly into those bonds of friendship.   Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you lovely Swedes. I really do miss you.






Code Blue

Code Blue!

One minute my patient is alert, eating her lunch and due for discharge that afternoon; the next minute she is unresponsive, suddenly incontinent, flaccid, and bradycardic with an unreadable blood pressure.

What happens next, in my opinion, is scarcely short of miraculous…and I’m not talking flutter of angel wings, heavenly music, instant recovery, but the workings of a system in place honed and perfected to handle any emergency situation arising within the four walls of a modern acute care facility.

Within minutes (if that) of slamming one’s hand on the code blue button an entire team of highly trained professionals are abruptly ending conversations, running down stairwells, slamming through doors and arriving at the bedside to do what they do best: save a life.


Organized chaos ensues: nurses perform CPR; placing lines, leads, pads, cuffs and probes to monitor oxygen, heart rhythm, blood pressure and, if necessary, to shock an unresponsive heart back into a viable rhythm. Respiratory therapists take their place at the head of the bed and ensure a patent airway. Code leader immediately asks for relevant history and patient data and starts directing situation-specific algorithms and interventions. Pharmacists stand ready to help with any drug related situations and questions. One nurse is recording every shock, drug, interventions, responses and timing of everything. Anethesiologists and ICU nurses are taking orders and working in sync starting necessary iv’s, obtaining labs, bolusing fluids, pushing drugs. All are keenly aware of the code leaders calm voice through it all directing, reviewing, questioning, probing : the how’s, the why’s, what’s underlying diagnosis, where are we at now, what’s the blood pressure, anyone have any suggestions, lets review the data, let’s get an EKG, lets call the neurologist, lets infuse another liter.

The outcomes, of course, are varied. Sadly, some patients don’t make it despite heroic interventions. Many, however, do and are usually transferred to the ICU for close monitoring. My patient was one of the lucky ones. She gradually regained consciousness and became appropriately responsive, and I squeezed her hand assuring her she was in good hands as they wheeled her off my unit.

There is always a certain “feel” to a unit following a code blue. A certain calm or “release”. A doctor here or there charting or making phone calls. A now empty patient room that looks like a tornado just released its fury in there: tubing and packaging splayed on the floor, IV start kits ripped open and a desecrated crash cart shoved to the wall, monitors blipping vaguely, equipment pushed to the side and empty Iv bags hanging. I wander back out to the nurses station and attempt to focus on the screen in front of me …oddly enough I can barely keep my eyes open even with the adrenalin still coursing through my veins. Well, not so odd: I barely slept the night before and its well past break time. Such is the life of a nurse…My charge practically shoves me out the door for lunch and another day continues on…

Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned Rapid Response Teams!…those are my favorite 🙂

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Time for Magic

“Here ends another day, during which I have had eyes, ears, hands and the great world around me. Tomorrow begins another day. Why am I allowed two?”

G.K. Chesterton


That is one of my favorite quotes… and exactly how I feel. My heart has been bursting with happiness – really – since moving to San Francisco, and I am frankly shocked. I did not expect to feel this way nor to feel so absolutely excited every day. It is not just that there is a bazillion things to do and see, but the inexplicable way that magic keeps happening in the form of random happenings, job, housing, beauty, making new friends and renewing old relationships, etc…

Specific happenings:

Job at UCSF. No sooner had I returned from SEA than this amazing contract kinda fell into my lap – 12 hr DAYS, immediate start date, great rate. So far, its been a busy, but very positive experience. Everyone is super nice, the facility is in a lovely area overlooking the city and the bay, and for the first time in my career, I actually have hour long lunch breaks. Whaaattt?!? Kinda still in shock, but, hey! I’ll take it! Read, walk, exercise, sleep…the 60 min options are limitless 🙂


thot this was sweet…two men and a baby out enjoying the gardens. My hospital in the background.

Probably the funniest thing that’s happened yet relates to the navy blue scrub dress code for the nurses. Till my new scrubs come in, I’ve been making do with some old navy scrubs I “borrowed” months ago from a couple outpatient centers in SD including for some reason an enormous pair of drawstring pants. Well, I tried to cinch them tight but apparently, bustling around they just kept getting looser and looser. A little hitch here and there seemed to do the trick until, well, it just didn’t….mid-patient care I suddenly looked down and realized my pants were riding about mid-thigh. How long they had been that way, I can only guess. I just couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t think my sweet patient noticed (thank God) but the caregiver in the room sure did. We both lost it a bit. Fortunately I was wearing some stretch pants underneath to keep warm so didn’t quite scandalize the unit, but needless to say I can’t wait till some more flattering scrubs arrive!


pretty cool view

Housing/roommates. San Francisco is quite possibly the most expensive US city to live in, making it difficult to find an acceptably affordable place in any decent part of the city. I basically had just a few days to try to find a place…and its crazy how this all has worked out. I randomly emailed my photography teacher from up here asking if she had any leads for me. Just so happened she and her husband had an amazing available room for a temporary place for as long as I needed (its so great to have roommates my age) and a hilarious cat named Connor who is so funny. And now I’ve found a fantastic more permanent place in Cole Valley – an 8 min walk to work!! With another great roommate and a dog! Absolutely love Cole Valley! One of the best parts of the city to live in: old lovely houses, safe neighborhood abounding in restaurants and coffee shops, ice cream parlor;), stores, parks, super easy transit to anywhere in the city, a stones throw from weird and cool Haight Street! Already in love.


always wanted some tomato soup shoes…


there’s just no explanation for some things on Haight Street. Its so cool though…happy hour in a hat shop? whaat? love it. music, shoes, bars, costumes…

Random SF explorations. Uber pool! Really fun! For just $5 you can grab a Uber and go anywhere in the city with the stipulation that you may have to pool up with someone going in your direction. I’ve honestly had a great time meeting people and the drivers are fun to talk to as well.


one of my besties up for a visit! nail and massage time!

Golden Gate Park, museums, windy beaches, art, et al. So much culture and beauty up here. This is a great place for an art and nature lover. Already been to an exhibit at deYoung, prowled around art exhibits and talked to a number of ridiculously talented artists, wandered lazily through botanical garden and had some fun practicing street photography and capturing people and scenes that caught my eye.


enjoying a sandwich…


music student from chicago out enjoying the sunshine like the rest of us


cuz, really, why not…


these two ladies have been fast friends for literally decades…welcomed me warmly to the city.

Public transit. OhEmGee…this girl is SO unused to having to take buses… but I jumped right into it out of sheer necessity. (parking is $30/day at UCSF) I have had some moments of utter frustration, sheer stupidity, disgust and defeat, but all in all have been rather proud of my navigational abilities and have utilized the somewhat unpredictable but none-the-less supportable MUNI quite frequently. Can’t wait to just be able to walk to work though!


a little bus stop romance…they could probably get a room at if they wanted…just saying

Just for laughs…almost unbelievable:

Restaurants, indoor miniature golf, starry hills at night, brunches with friends, super nice people…I feel blessed and spoiled and happy. Yes. I. Do. I knew 2015 was going to be good…


…reflection experimentation…

“One of the deepest and strangest of all human moods is the mood which will suddenly strike us perhaps in a garden at night, or deep in sloping meadows, the feeling that every flower and leaf has just uttered something stupendously direct and important, and that we have by a prodigy of imbecility not heard or understood it. There is a certain poetic value, and that a genuine one, in this sense of having missed the full meaning of things. There is beauty, not only in wisdom, but in this dazed and dramatic ignorance.”